she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize