It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
