How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Randomize
