Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
