he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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