Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
