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508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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