He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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