and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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