That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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