True but thats because hes a fetus.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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