Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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