I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
