um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Semen is not good for contacts.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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