shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
zippers are such a cool invention
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
