dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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