I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
