Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
