is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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