please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Randomize
