Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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