Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
