So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize