i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
