Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
