She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
