I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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