You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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