We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
