Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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