Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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