I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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