Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
