Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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