hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
