I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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