dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
