lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
