i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
