she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
