Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
