the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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