It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
