youre lurking in front of me
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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