it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
