Me. At least after what I've been through.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
