I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
