My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
