too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
