well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
