and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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