I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He did a backflip because drugs
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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