Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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