all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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