o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
