I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
