Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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