2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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