How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
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